10 Hidden Rules of Social Media.  I am giving a presentation on this tonight at the Burlington, VT gathering of Antioch University of New England alumni.  It was a relatively challenging group to plan a talk on social media for, as it’s a pretty diverse group.  I decided to focus on “Hidden Rules” because it may resonate with the sociologically minded alumni, and can be helpful for people with a wide range of understanding of social media tools.

1. First, Focus Inward. The absolute first step that you must take, as a business, or as an individual that is looking to begin using social media professionally, is to shore up your primary internal communications issues.  That should be easy, right?!  Focusing inward and cleaning up your own backyard before heading out into the world would be a wise choice.  It clearly takes work, but I think that’s where you need to start.
2. Listen Up! Don’t start your efforts by blasting information out into the world.  The first step is to begin “listening” or, really, “reading” what other people are saying.  Set up google alerts on your name and your category of interest.  Before you post in a forum, read the forum.  For a while.  Before you start tweeting, set up a twitter account and look at how other people are using it.  Before you start blogging, read other blogs in your industry.  Look before you leap!
3. The love you give is equal to the love you get. (Apologies to Lennon/McCartney!) Social Media, when done right, is about what you give, not what you get.  You should be providing value to others.  It is almost spiritual in nature.  You are trying to help others by providing them with something that they wouldn’t otherwise have.  Building connections doesn’t happen quickly.  Sharing what has captured your interest is an example of this.  (Regardless of whether it’s leading to a sale.)  No one likes to get assaulted with sales pitches in real life, and no one likes it online.
4. Social Media are not magic. They are a set of tools that you can use to communicate with people.  They are not going to magically turn a bad product into a good one.  You are not going to generate 100 times the sales you have had last week because you create a Facebook page.  The communication is exactly the same as it’s always been – it’s people helping people.  The only thing that has changed is the tools. Building strong connections takes time, and there are no shortcuts.
5. Let your personality shine through. It’s the right thing to do. It is perfectly acceptable to share your personality using social media!  If you are funny, be funny.  If you are not funny, don’t try to be funny.  Just be you.  During the rise of big corporations, it became commonly accepted that “professional” meant nameless/faceless behemoths, devoid of personality.  Those days are over, and personality matters now more than ever before.  People are social animals, and seek to connect to something outside of themselves.  It’s okay to show personality.  In fact, it’s downright professional.
6. Every community is different.  Respect that. LinkedIn has a different purpose than Twitter.  Twitter has a different purpose than Facebook.  Your blog has a different purpose than Facebook.  All of them have different language and customs.  Don’t blast your messages across every platform.  I know that it sounds efficient to type an “update” once and have it “go everywhere,” but really you are sending a message to the different communities that you don’t care enough about them to follow their rules and use their language.  That’s bad form in any community, and it’s no different online.
7. Use the 10 to 1 rule. Talk about someone else and what they are doing 10 times to every 1 time you talk about yourself.  Promote your friends.  Promote your colleagues.  Let everyone know about the good work that they are doing.  Promote your customers!  Show them some love.  This clearly doesn’t have to be followed literally, but it’s a good rule of thumb to ensure that you aren’t just talking about yourself and how great you are (and how people should hire you, buy from you, become your customer, and follow you).
8. Read the leaders! One of the things that people generally are worried about with social media is being overwhelmed by the signal to noise ratio.  There is a TON of information about social media.  If you are just starting out, follow the big guns.  Chris Brogan, Brian Solis, Olivier Marchand, Beth Kanter (If you are interested in social media for non-profits Beth is an important follow), and Seth Godin will keep you up to date.  Taking 5-10 minutes a day to read their blog posts will have a signficant impact on your social media chops and awareness.
9. Mix it Up. Once you start generating content, mix it up.  If you generally write long blog posts, mix in some short ones.  Learn how to make a video and post it, and make some video posts.  Share information that is germaine to your profession, but share things that interest you personally as well.  You have a platform to share who you are, both as a business and as a person, and you should use it.  People begin to tune out when the message is the same every day or week.  Keep them on their toes by mixing it up.
10. It’s all about the karma. Building social karma is a huge part of using social media tools.  Spend your time thinking of ways to connect your friends and colleagues with each other in ways that will be valuable for them, even if it doesn’t mean a sale for you.  Be adamant about promoting the people that you love and the things that you love and the concepts you find fascinating.  If someone has a blog post that you read, “Share it” or “Like it” or “Tweet it” and give that writer a little boost.  Sharing for others builds that karma (and the likelihood that they are going to do it for you in return!)

What do you think?  What did I miss?  What hidden rules do you see in your communities?